Why don’t you just adopt…?

When I first decided to embark on being a Solo Mum by choice, my first thought was not fertility treatment – but was actually adoption.

I went to a couple of Adoption Evenings with the local and neighbouring Local Authorities and Voluntary Agenices but unfortunately I felt it was not quite the right decision for me.

I think adoption is a wonderful thing. But, I also feel it is more geared a lot to couples rather than solo individuals who wish to be parents. And definatly for people in employment rather than self employment.

I’ll just give you a few things that I was hit with.

• I was informed that due to working from home, it would limit the “pool” of Children I could adopt due to “strangers” coming to the house.
• I was told at one point, to close my business and go and get a full-time job that would pay adoption leave.
• I was told that there was no financial help for Self Employed so I would just have to live off my savings
• I was informed that I would need to take a minimum of 12-Months off Work to bond with the child I adopted – regardless of the age of child I adopted. (I was looking at a slightly older child)
• I was also told that if It was between me and a couple matched with a child that the couple would generally always get chosen.

Now, I get that they have to make sure the right type of people go into adoption, but there are definately ways and means around it, and having a single, self employed person looking to adopt it was really quite an eye-opener.

I have friends who have adopted a gorgeous little one from a baby and I remember them telling me that they really did not have a clue how self-employed people worked and that many many people juggle!

So I was talking to a client of mine who told me about The Fertility Show which really for me, I explain is like a Wedding Exhibition for people wanting a baby! Fertility Clinics, Sperm Banks, Adoption, Surrogacy, you name it – its there! I went online and managed to book tickets plus tickets for some talks too.

It enabled me to look around, ask questions, look at different Fertility Clinics and get as much information as possible to be able to move forward on the decisions that I could make.

In the end it was between two clinics, but I chose the closest one as I managed to speak to one of the Consultants who is at the Clinic and he gave me a lot of information.

As a solo mum to be, I was led to believe by chatting to other places that I would have to pay for everything from the word go. Consultations, Scans, Blood tests etc – and this was not correct. Majority of the tests are done on the NHS and then when you start treatment and certain tests you have to pay for. This was done from a GP referral as they take private and NHS referrals but I appreciate every clinic is different.

I weighed up my options, and decided that I would go down the clinic route, and if it didn’t work, then I would potentially look back to adoption when I was a bit older than i am currently.